Part 13

“Meanwhile the other three volunteers were actively engaged {165}in an occupation if possible still more dangerous. It was the mouth of the giant upon which Hans had always known he should have to make his great attempt. For should every other part of his huge frame be brought under subjection and his mouth left free, the direst consequences might be apprehended. His roars might bring to his assistance others of his kind from a distance; and even if this did not actually occur, the whole population of the country would be alarmed, if indeed the volunteers themselves were not deafened and rendered senseless by the sound. It was bad enough even when they commenced, for the snores of the sleeping giant were like very loud thunder, closer to the earth than common, or the roar of many cannons in some great conflict of human armies. Luckily, however, he only snored at intervals, between which much could be done, and by carefully filling their ears with cotton wool, the four men were able to proceed with their task, the noise being somewhat deadened by this wise precaution.

“Hans, armed with a long spear sharpened at both ends, boldly entered the mouth first. It was as dark as an oven, and almost as hot, whilst the odour was far less agreeable, as the monster liked his venison high, and had eaten rather an unusual quantity that day. In fact, from time to time the men were obliged to creep out, faint and sick, and take a whiff of fresh air and a drop of brandy before they could go on with their work. Hans carefully placed his long spear in such a position between the jaws that they could not possibly be closed upon him. He was obliged to be exceedingly careful in climbing round and over the teeth, which were of such size, {166}length, and sharpness, that to traverse them was like climbing over a wall with enormously long pointed iron spikes at the top of it. In fact, but for the circumstance of the existence of various holes and crevices through which he could creep, Hans would have found his task even more difficult than was actually the case.

“His three companions, meanwhile, had provided themselves with a great quantity of beams, joists, rafters, and all other necessary articles for the purpose which they intended to accomplish. They set to work with great zeal to fortify the giant’s mouth after a novel fashion, fixing strong beams of oak between the teeth, and building in planks of oak and fir so as to create a fixed and strong roof within the mouth which no power could remove save in the same manner by which it had been {167}erected, namely, by carpenters’ work performed by skilful operators. As the darkness of the interior of the mouth rendered it difficult to work therein, the workmen, who became bolder after they had worked for some time without interruption, fetched a lantern, which Hans carefully hung from one of the beams, and, by the assistance of its light, the work proceeded more rapidly; and after a time the four men arrived at the conclusion that there was little more to do in order to secure the object for which they had undertaken their hazardous task.

“Accordingly they all left the mouth, except their valiant leader, who now struck a severe blow upon the tongue of the giant with a fragment of beam, in order to awake and summon him to surrender. Such, however, was the thickness of the monster’s skin, that even upon this most sensitive part a second and harder blow was necessary before the desired effect could be produced.

Having {168}dealt this with all his force, Hans went forth and stood upon the protruding lip of the giant, whence lie was presently hurled down once more upon his breast, as the huge frame trembled and, with a sigh, the monster awoke. Hans was speedily upon his legs again, climbed at once boldly through the beard and whiskers of his prostrate enemy, and standing upon the lower part of his cheek, and elevating his lantern, shouted at the top of his voice, ‘You vile old murdering Daddy-roarer! surrender yourself as my prisoner. Villain, you shall now pay dearly for all the mischief you have done, and the innocent lives which you have sacrificed. Monster, you must die!’

“Old Bramble-buffer, half asleep and half awake, at first made no response whatever to this appeal, which, in fact, he scarcely heard. Neither could he see the individual by whom he was addressed; all he heard was a noise as of a shrill penny trumpet close to his ear, and it was some few seconds before he recovered his senses sufficiently to make out what was said to him. All he saw was the feeble ray of a lantern, and he waited for awhile in hopeless confusion. Then, at last, he perceived the strange little figure which had addressed him in so haughty a tone, and for an instant a feeling of contemptuous mirth took possession of his soul. This, however, did not last long, for Hans spoke again.

“‘You don’t believe you are captive, don’t you?’ he cried. ‘Just try to move, you old beggar, will you, and you’ll soon know the rights of it!’

“Bramble-buffer, on hearing these words, immediately followed the advice which they gave, but found that he was so firmly secured to the ground by more than {169}half the hairs of his head and body, that he could not move an inch. Then he tried to roar, or at all events to speak to his vanquisher, and discover what it all meant, but found himself totally unable to do so. His mouth was so carefully and solidly fortified, that he could no more close it than fly, and he found that he was completely and absolutely in the power of those who had taken advantage of his sleep to make him a helpless captive.

“As soon as he saw that the giant was aware of his condition, Hans carefully kicked him on the nostril, and went on to say, ‘Now, you old rascal, you will have time to repent, perhaps, but no more. The crows and ravens will soon come and pick out your eyes, and the wolves and other animals for whom the flesh of an old giant is not too strong, will doubtless make an end of you before long. If, however, these should not arrive soon, you may starve here as comfortably as you can, and die of hunger at your leisure.’ With these words the little tailor stamped violently on the old Daddy-roarer’s cheek, and laughed scornfully as he did so.

“Perfectly helpless, overcome with sorrow at his miserable condition, and struck with horror at the melancholy and wretched fate which he saw impending, Bramble-buffer could bear up no longer, but burst into tears, in doing which he very nearly destroyed his conqueror, who would certainly have been washed away by the stream which suddenly came gushing down the cheek on which he was standing, had he not with his wonted agility jumped on one side, and swung himself off by the whiskers on to the ground.

“Seeing his enemy thus completely prostrate in body and {170}soul, and evidently perfectly conscious of the helplessness of his position, the acute brain of Hans began immediately to consider whether there might not be some better way of turning the giant to account than by either killing him or leaving him to die, especially as there would be considerable practical inconvenience in getting rid of so huge a carcase, which would moreover attract all the wolves, foxes, vultures, crows, and other disagreeable animals from far and near, and render the place unbearable for months to come. A happy thought struck him, and he instantly struck the giant in consequence, climbing back again on to his lip in order to do so. ‘Listen to me, Daddy roarer!’ he cried at the top of his voice. ‘You can purchase your life if you wish it. What do you say to that?’

“Fastened as he was, and unable to speak or move his mouth, the old fellow could only signify his delight by {171}winking his eyes, which he forthwith did with as much expression as could be expected from a person of his intellectual capacity. Hans perfectly understood that an affirmative reply was intended, and he thus proceeded to explain his meaning to the giant. ‘Now, look here, old chap! you must confess that you have been a regular ruffian: destroying crops, throwing down houses, bagging sheep and cattle, stamping upon people who never did you any harm, and generally playing Old Harry with the whole country. Now, if I and my mates let you off this time, and spare your life, you must vow, promise, and solemnly declare that you will do just exactly the reverse and opposite of all you have hitherto done. You must watch over the interests of mankind, and, in fact, you must be our slave, perform the tasks which we shall impose upon you, and yield a ready and implicit obedience to all commands which shall be laid upon you by properly constituted authorities among mankind, from the Emperor of Germany down to the parish constable. If you’re game for this, old fellow, wink your eye again, and it’s a bargain.’

“It may perhaps be objected to our hero Hans, Brother Thames, that his language was somewhat of what is termed a ‘slang’ character; but if critics make, as critics will, such remarks, they should remember that, in the days of which I am speaking, tailors were not, as now, upon an equality with educated gentlemen, and their language was not unnaturally somewhat less polished and refined than might otherwise have been the case. I should willingly put into the mouth of Hans expressions of a nature better calculated to please the superlatively well-conditioned gentlemen who, in these days {172}when all men are equal, speak with acknowledged accuracy of taste and grammar, whether they chance to have been half, wholly, or not at all educated, and cannot endure in the mouths of others anything which falls short of their own high standard; but I speak of things and people as they really were in those old days, and I cannot alter the truth for anybody.

“Hans was only a tailor, and perhaps a little vulgar into the bargain, and he certainly accosted the old giant with more slang expressions and less respect than his age and rank might have entitled him to expect. So it was, however, and, what is more, the result was the same as it would probably have been if Hans had used other and better language to express his meaning.

“Old Bramble-buffer no sooner heard the conditions imposed than he winked his eye again without the smallest hesitation, in order to signify that he agreed to the bargain. Upon this our friend Hans immediately summoned his companions, who came at once, and, being ordered by him to do so, climbed upon the face of the still-prostrate foe, and, at Hans’ further commands, took up the positions which he indicated. Three of them sat quietly upon his forehead, whilst two others sat, one over each of his eyes, holding in their hands a sharp dagger which they kept suspended just above his eyelids.

“‘Now, old boy,’ shouted Hans again, right into the ear of the giant, ‘look here; I am going to keep my part of the bargain, and begin to set you free. If, when your mouth is open, you cry out for help, or say or do anything unpleasant, straight into your eyes go these two daggers, and you will find that you will fare much {173}worse than if you had kept your word. As soon as your voice is free, you will swear the Big Oath of the giants to be the slave of our people henceforth; and you shall then be set free from the other bonds by which you are now constrained.’

“Having said these words, Hans boldly descended once more into the huge mouth of his former enemy, accompanied by his remaining companions, who carried a lantern. Then, taking up his spear, which he had removed from its position in the giant’s jaws as soon as the beams and rafters had been all fixed and securely built in, he carefully moved one of these, which was the key {174}to the whole edifice, and then, jumping out of the mouth, told the owner thereof that he could do the rest himself. This, indeed, was the case, for with a vigorous crunch of his jaws, Bramble-buffer now smashed beams, rafters, joists, and planks all into one shapeless mass, which he forthwith spat out of his mouth as fast as he could, and afterwards indulged in a long, deep sigh of relief. It was a moment of agonizing suspense to the men. Suppose the giant should play false? They might indeed put out his eyes, but his roars would probably bring other giants to his aid before long, and, when free, his vengeance would be terrible. A very few seconds, however, put an end to their doubts, and dissipated all their fears. The race of giants are a curious combination of good and evil, and if the latter generally predominates, it is really not so much from natural or inherent vice as from defective education, there being a sad want of elementary schools among giants, and few people big enough to undertake the instruction of their youth. But no well-born giant of average respectability breaks the great giant oath, and this was what Bramble-buffer had promised to take. Nor was he false to his promise: as soon as he had recovered his powers of speech, his very first words were as follows, pronounced in rhyme, doubtless for the sake of emphasis:—

‘By the mountains of the earth; By the ground which gave me birth; By the streams which here do flow; By the cots I’ve oft laid low;

By the woods and forests great; By the woven web of Fate; By the waters of the Rhine, Swear I now this oath of mine:—

War with man henceforth t’ eschew, To their cause for e’er be true, All their mandates to obey, Willing slave by night or day,

To their will submissive bow, Since they grant my freedom now!’

“It {175}is but doing justice to the estimation in which the character of the giants as vow-keepers stood, to say that from the moment that old Bramble-buffer pronounced these words, not one of the seven heroes who stood on and about his face at the time of his dozing had the smallest fear for themselves, or for those to whom he had just vowed obedience. They felt, on the contrary, such entire confidence in the moral probity of their old enemy, and in his honest intention to observe his oath in the most religious manner, that they immediately threw down their daggers (in such a reckless manner as might have proved serious to the face of the old giant if they had not fortunately fallen in his whiskers), and proceeded without delay to climb down and set free the hairs which they had so securely fastened with cords and ropes. Little by little they separated those disagreeable knots and ties, and the emancipated Bramble-buffer at last rose once more from the ground a free giant.

“As soon as he was upon his legs, the first thing he did was to shake himself violently, and in so doing cause the earth to tremble beneath him as from the shock of an earthquake. He then spoke humbly to Hans, and asked his will; but as in doing this he employed his ordinary voice, which was not unlike thunder, his conqueror made the first use of his power by desiring his slave to speak in a whisper for the future, {176}unless he should happen to be standing at a great distance from the person addressed. He next directed the captive Bramble-buffer to carry him and his companions to the cave in which they had left the rest of the mortals. This cave was formed out of rocks, close to the vast ruins of an ancient castle, which at some distant time had been built in a very strong position, but which age or giants had long ago partially demolished. In front of the cave huge rocks jutted out on all sides, and on a plateau of rock there came out several of the mortals to receive Hans and his prisoner, as soon as the news had spread that they were near at hand.

“Bramble-buffer had meekly obeyed the commands of his master, and brought him and his six volunteers safely to the place they desired. Then Hans, having directed that he should be placed upon a table of rock just opposite that on which the other mortals were standing, and which was about on a level with the giant’s head as he stood below, introduced their new slave to his fellow-men, and related to them the perils and adventures through which he and his six friends had passed, and the successful issue to which they had brought the affair which had been entrusted to them. Upon this the men all set up a shout of joy, as they gazed with unfeigned delight upon their old enemy, humbled and brought low as he was.

“Then there followed the usual course of action in such matters. Everybody praised Hans, and everybody pretended that they had known his talents, skill, and bravery from the first, and had always been in favour of the expedition which he had planned and executed.

One {177}would have thought that the old gentleman, at least, would have remained silent, but this was far from being the case. On the contrary, he was foremost in offering his congratulations to the triumphant Hans, and even went so far as to say that he could not help taking some credit to himself in the matter, for that, highly approving of his scheme from the first moment he heard it, and being most anxious for its success, he had known that a little pretended opposition was the only way to get up a feeling in favour of it among the general throng, and had therefore spoken doubtfully in order to secure this result. His wisdom, he added, had been amply justified; Hans had succeeded as he, the old gentleman, had always known he must and would succeed, and he hoped he would ever be grateful to those whose age and experience had assisted him at the first beginning of the affair.

“Hans listened with respectful attention to this speech, and to many of a similar character from that large class of persons who always tell one after an event has happened that they perfectly well knew it would occur, and had often prophesied it beforehand. He did not deem it necessary to make any answer, but accepted all the compliments offered him with becoming modesty, and told his friends plainly that he had acted for the general benefit, and was very thankful that success had crowned his efforts. Many rewards were, of course, bestowed upon the hero: he was made a knight of several orders, which conferred the right to wear certain stars and crosses at court, which was accounted a great privilege in those days, and was all the more valued because it was always so uncertain to whom {178}it would be given, some persons who had done nothing to deserve it being frequently thus decorated, while others were left out who had fairly earned it by service rendered to the public. But everybody rejoiced in the honours showered upon Sir Hans, and tailoring immediately grew fashionable and has so continued ever since.

“From that time forth there is but little of interest to relate to you concerning the giant Bramble-buffer. He honestly and diligently performed his duty to his masters, making and altering mountains for them when required, holding a gigantic umbrella over particular crops which the rain would have damaged when a storm happened to break over them, and performing very many other offices for the performance of which brute strength was required. In short, he proved a most faithful, useful, and obedient servant, never grumbled at being required to rise early, complained of his victuals, or said that, ‘it wasn’t his place’ to do any particular service asked of him, but did his duty like a true and good giant, and was consequently happy and contented during the whole of his remaining life. I cannot tell you precisely when that life terminated, but I rather fancy his head got confused when two great nations took to quarrelling as to which of them had the best claim to my river, and consequently to the giant who served the population of the country near, and if this absurdity on the part of mortals turned with them into madness, it is not a matter of surprise that the same disease fell upon the less powerful intellect of the poor giant, and that he put an end to himself when, like the nations themselves, he was labouring under ‘temporary insanity.’ At all events, I have told you his legend as {179}far as it has been well authenticated, and will now leave you to pass your opinion thereupon.”