3. Explain: spurious, mazes, logic, despite,

quacks, rote, policy, rectitude, cant, bigotry, specious.

THE DISCONTENTED PENDULUM

An old clock that had stood for fifty years in a farmer's kitchen without giving its owner any cause of complaint, early one summer's morning, before the family was stirring, suddenly stopped. Upon this, the dial plate (if we may credit the fable) changed countenance with alarm; 5 the hands made a vain effort to continue their course; the wheels remained motionless with surprise; the weights hung speechless; and each member felt disposed to lay the blame on the others. At length the dial instituted a formal inquiry into the cause of the stoppage; when hands, wheels, 10 weights, with one voice, protested their innocence. But now a faint tick was heard below from the pendulum, who thus spoke:

"I confess myself to be the sole cause of the stoppage; and I am willing, for the general satisfaction, to assign my 15 reasons. The truth is, that I am tired of ticking." Upon hearing this the old clock became so enraged that it was on the very point of striking.

"Lazy wire!" exclaimed the dial plate, holding up its hands. 20

"Very good!" replied the pendulum. "It is vastly easy for you, Mistress Dial, who have always, as everybody knows, set yourself up above me—it is vastly easy for you, I say, to accuse other people of laziness! You, who have had nothing to do all your life but to stare people in 25 the face and to amuse yourself with watching all that goes on in the kitchen! Think how you would like to be shut up for life in this dark closet and wag backward and forward, year after year, as I do."

"As to that," said the dial, "is there not a window in your house on purpose for you to look through?"

"For all that," resumed the pendulum, "it is very dark 5 here; and although there is a window, I dare not stop, even for an instant, to look out. Besides I am really tired of my way of life; and if you wish, I'll tell you how I took this disgust at my employment. This morning I happened to be calculating how many times I should have to tick in the 10 course of only the next twenty-four hours; perhaps some of you, above there, can give me the exact sum."

The minute hand, being quick at figures, instantly replied, "Eighty-six thousand four hundred times."

"Exactly so," replied the pendulum. "Well, I appeal to 15 you all, if the thought of this was not enough to fatigue one? And when I began to multiply the strokes of one day by those of months and years, really it is no wonder if I felt discouraged at the prospect; so after a great deal of reasoning and hesitation, thinks I to myself, I'll stop!" 20

The dial could scarcely keep its countenance during this harangue, but resuming its gravity it at last replied: "Dear Mr. Pendulum, I am really astonished that such a useful, industrious person as yourself should have been overcome by this suggestion. It is true you have done a 25 great deal of work in your time; so have we all, and are likely to do; and though this may fatigue us to think of, the question is, will it fatigue us to do? Would you, now, give half a dozen strokes to illustrate my argument?"

The pendulum complied, and ticked six times at its 30 usual pace. "Now," resumed the dial, "may I be allowed to ask, was that exertion at all fatiguing to you?"

"Not in the least," replied the pendulum; "it is not of six strokes that I complain, nor of sixty, but of millions."

"Very good," replied the dial; "but recollect that although you may think of a million strokes in an instant, you are required to execute but one, and that however often 5 you may hereafter have to swing, a moment will always be given you to swing in."

"That consideration staggers me, I confess," said the pendulum.

"Then I hope," resumed the dial plate, "we shall all 10 immediately return to our duty; for the maids will be in bed till noon if we stand idling thus."

Upon this the weights, who had never been accused of light conduct, used all their influence in urging him to proceed; when, as with one consent, the wheels began to 15 turn, the hands began to move, the pendulum began to swing, and, to its credit, ticked as loud as ever; while a beam of the rising sun that streamed through a hole in the kitchen shutter, shining full upon the dial plate, made it brighten up as if nothing had been the matter. 20

But when the farmer came down to breakfast that morning, he looked at the clock and declared that his watch had gained half an hour in the night!

1. Write a single short sentence expressing the moral of this story.

2. Why did the minute hand make the calculation (page 233)? Is its calculation correct?

3. What play on words is made in line 21, page 233. In line 13-14, page 234?