The Young Man's Guide · William A. Alcott
SECTION X. How to know with whom to deal.
Chapter 28 of 60 · 3 min read
There are two maxims in common life that seem to clash with each other, most pointedly. The first is, 'Use every precaution with a stranger, that you would wish you had done, should he turn out to be a villain;' and secondly, 'Treat every man as an honest man, until he proves to be otherwise.'
Now there is good advice in both these maxims. By this I mean that they may both be observed, to a certain extent, without interfering with each other. You may be cautious about hastily becoming acquainted with a stranger, and yet so far as you have any concern with him, treat him like an honest man. No reasonable person will complain if you do not unbosom yourself to him at once. And if he is unreasonable, you will not wish for an intimate acquaintance with him.
My present purpose is to offer a few hints, with a view to assist you in judging of the characters of those with whom it may be your lot to deal. Remember, however, that like all things human, they are imperfect. All I can say is that they are the best I can offer.
There is something in knavery that will hardly bear the inspection of a piercing eye; and you may, more generally, observe in a sharper an unsteady and confused look. If a person is persuaded of the uncommon sagacity of one before whom he is to appear, he will hardly succeed in mustering impudence and artifice enough to bear him through without faltering. It will, therefore, be a good way to try one whom you have reason to suspect of a design upon you, by fixing your eyes upon his, and bringing up a supposition of your having to do with one whose integrity you suspected; stating what you would do in such a case. If the person you are talking with be really what you expect, he will hardly be able to keep his countenance.
It will be a safe rule,—though doubtless there are exceptions to it,—to take mankind to be more or less avaricious. Yet a great love of money is a great enemy to honesty. The aged are, in this respect, more dangerous than the young. It will be your wisdom ever to be cautious of aged avarice; and especially of those who, in an affected and forced manner, bring in religion, and talk much of duty on all occasions; of all smooth and fawning people; of those who are very talkative, and who, in dealing with you, endeavor to draw off your attention from the point in hand by incoherent or random expressions.
I have already advised you how to proceed with those of whom you have good reason to be suspicious. But by all means avoid entertaining unnecessary suspicions of your fellow beings; for it will usually render both you and them the more miserable. It is often owing to a consciousness of a designing temper, in ourselves, that we are led to suspect others.
If you hear a person boasting of having got a remarkably good bargain, you may generally conclude him by no means too honest; for almost always where one gains much in a bargain, the other loses. I know well that cases occur where both parties are gainers, but not greatly so. And when you hear a man triumph in gaining by another's loss, you may easily judge of his character.
Let me warn you against the sanguine promisers. Of these there are two sorts. The first are those who from a foolish custom of fawning upon all those whom they meet with in company, have acquired a habit of promising great favors which they have no idea of performing. The second are a sort of warm hearted people, who while they lavish their promises have some thoughts of performing them; but when the time comes, and the sanguine fit is worn off, the trouble or expense appears in another light; the promiser cools, and the expectant is disappointed.
Be cautious of dealing with an avaricious and cruel man, for if it should happen by an unlucky turn of trade that you should come into the power of such a person, you have nothing to expect but the utmost rigor of the law.
In negotiating, there are a number of circumstances to be considered; the neglect of any of which may defeat your whole scheme. These will be mentioned in the next section.



