Part 4

Memories have I none in keeping Of times I held you near my heart, Of dreams when we were near to weeping That dawn should bid us rise and part; Never, alas, I saw you sleeping With soft closed eyes and lips apart,

Breathing my name still through your dreaming.— Ah! had you stayed, such things had been! But Fate, unheeding human scheming, Serenely reckless came between— Fate with her cold eyes hard and gleaming Unseared by all the sorrow seen.

Ah! well-beloved, I never told you, I did not show in speech or song, How at the end I longed to fold you Close in my arms; so fierce and strong The longing grew to have and hold you, You, and you only, all life long.

They who know nothing call me fickle, Keen to pursue and loth to keep. Ah, could they see these tears that trickle From eyes erstwhile too proud to weep. Could see me, prone, beneath the sickle, While pain and sorrow stand and reap!

Unopened scarce, yet overblown, lie The hopes that rose-like round me grew, The lights are low, and more than lonely This life I lead apart from you. Come back, come back! I want you only, And you who loved me never knew.

You loved me, pleaded for compassion On all the pain I would not share; And I in weary, halting fashion Was loth to listen, long to care; But now, dear God! I faint with passion For your far eyes and distant hair.

Yes, I am faint with love, and broken With sleepless nights and empty days; I want your soft words fiercely spoken, Your tender looks and wayward ways— Want that strange smile that gave me token Of many things that no man says.

Cold was I, weary, slow to waken Till, startled by your ardent eyes, I felt the soul within me shaken And long-forgotten senses rise; But in that moment you were taken, And thus we lost our Paradise!

Farewell, we may not now recover That golden "Then" misspent, passed by, We shall not meet as loved and lover Here, or hereafter, you and I. My time for loving you is over, Love has no future, but to die.

And thus we part, with no believing In any chance of future years. We have no idle self-deceiving, No half-consoling hopes and fears; We know the Gods grant no retrieving A wasted chance. Fate knows no tears.

Verses: Faiz Ulla

Just in the hush before dawn A little wistful wind is born. A little chilly errant breeze, That thrills the grasses, stirs the trees. And, as it wanders on its way, While yet the night is cool and dark, The first carol of the lark,— Its plaintive murmurs seem to say "I wait the sorrows of the day."

Two Songs by Sitara, of Kashmir

Beloved! your hair was golden As tender tints of sunrise, As corn beside the River In softly varying hues. I loved you for your slightness, Your melancholy sweetness, Your changeful eyes, that promised What your lips would still refuse.

You came to me, and loved me, Were mine upon the River, The azure water saw us And the blue transparent sky; The Lotus flowers knew it, Our happiness together, While life was only River, Only love, and you and I.

Love wakened on the River, To sounds of running water, With silver Stars for witness And reflected Stars for light; Awakened to existence, With ripples for first music And sunlight on the River For earliest sense of sight.

Love grew upon the River Among the scented flowers, The open rosy flowers Of the Lotus buds in bloom— Love, brilliant as the Morning, More fervent than the Noon-day, And tender as the Twilight In its blue transparent gloom.

Love died upon the River! Cold snow upon the mountains, The Lotus leaves turned yellow And the water very grey. Our kisses faint and falter, The clinging hands unfasten, The golden time is over And our passion dies away.

Away. To be forgotten, A ripple on the River, That flashes in the sunset, That flashed,—and died away.

Second Song: The Girl from Baltistan

Throb, throb, throb, Far away in the blue transparent Night, On the outer horizon of a dreaming consciousness, She hears the sound of her lover's nearing boat Afar, afloat On the river's loneliness, where the Stars are the only light; Hear the sound of the straining wood Like a broken sob Of a heart's distress, Loving misunderstood.

She lies, with her loose hair spent in soft disorder, On a silken sheet with a purple woven border, Every cell of her brain is latent fire, Every fibre tense with restrained desire. And the straining oars sound clearer, clearer, The boat is approaching nearer, nearer; "How to wait through the moments' space Till I see the light of my lover's face?"

Throb, throb, throb, The sound dies down the stream Till it only clings at the senses' edge Like a half-remembered dream. Doubtless, he in the silence lies, His fair face turned to the tender skies, Starlight touching his sleeping eyes. While his boat caught in the thickset sedge And the waters round it gurgle and sob, Or floats set free on the river's tide, Oars laid aside.

She is awake and knows no rest, Passion dies and is dispossessed Of his brief, despotic power. But the Brain, once kindled, would still be afire Were the whole world pasture to its desire, And all of love, in a single hour,— A single wine cup, filled to the brim, Given to slake its thirst.

Some there are who are thus-wise cursed Times that follow fulfilled desire Are of all their hours the worst. They find no Respite and reach no Rest, Though passion fail and desire grow dim, No assuagement comes from the thing possessed For possession feeds the fire.

"Oh, for the life of the bright hued things Whose marriage and death are one, A floating fusion on golden wings. Alit with passion and sun!

"But we who re-marry a thousand times, As the spirit or senses will, In a thousand ways, in a thousand climes, We remain unsatisfied still."

As her lover left her, alone, awake she lies, With a sleepless brain and weary, half-closed eyes. She turns her face where the purple silk is spread, Still sweet with delicate perfume his presence shed. Her arms remembered his vanished beauty still, And, reminiscent of clustered curls, her fingers thrill. While the wonderful, Starlit Night wears slowly on Till the light of another day, serene and wan, Pierces the eastern skies.

Palm Trees by the Sea

Love, let me thank you for this! Now we have drifted apart, Wandered away from the sea,— For the fresh touch of your kiss, For the young warmth of your heart, For your youth given to me.

Thanks: for the curls of your hair, Softer than silk to the hand, For the clear gaze of your eyes. For yourself: delicate, fair, Seen as you lay on the sand, Under the violet skies.

Thanks: for the words that you said,— Secretly, tenderly sweet, All through the tropical day, Till, when the sunset was red, I, who lay still at your feet, Felt my life ebbing away,

Weary and worn with desire, Only yourself could console. Love let me thank you for this! For that fierce fervour and fire Burnt through my lips to my soul From the white heat of your kiss!

You were the essence of Spring, Wayward and bright as a flame: Though we have drifted apart, Still how the syllables sing Mixed in your musical name, Deep in the well of my heart!

Once in the lingering light, Thrown from the west on the Sea, Laid you your garments aside, Slender and goldenly bright, Glimmered your beauty, set free, Bright as a pearl in the tide.

Once, ere the thrill of the dawn Silvered the edge of the sea, I, who lay watching you rest,— Pale in the chill of the morn Found you still dreaming of me Stilled by love's fancies possessed.

Fallen on sorrowful days, Love, let me thank you for this, You were so happy with me! Wrapped in Youth's roseate haze, Wanting no more than my kiss By the blue edge of the sea!

Ah, for those nights on the sand Under the palms by the sea, For the strange dream of those days Spent in the passionate land, For your youth given to me, I am your debtor always!

Song by Gulbaz

"Is it safe to lie so lonely when the summer twilight closes No companion maidens, only you asleep among the roses?

"Thirteen, fourteen years you number, and your hair is soft and scented, Perilous is such a slumber in the twilight all untented.

"Lonely loveliness means danger, lying in your rose-leaf nest, What if some young passing stranger broke into your careless rest?"

But she would not heed the warning, lay alone serene and slight, Till the rosy spears of morning slew the darkness of the night.

Young love, walking softly, found her, in the scented, shady closes, Threw his ardent arms around her, kissed her lips beneath the roses.

And she said, with smiles and blushes, "Would that I had sooner known! Never now the morning thrushes wake and find me all alone.

"Since you said the rose-leaf cover sweet protection gave, but slight, I have found this dear young lover to protect me through the night!"

Kashmiri Song

Pale hands I love beside the Shalimar, Where are you now? Who lies beneath your spell? Whom do you lead on Rapture's roadway, far, Before you agonise them in farewell?

Oh, pale dispensers of my Joys and Pains, Holding the doors of Heaven and of Hell, How the hot blood rushed wildly through the veins Beneath your touch, until you waved farewell.

Pale hands, pink tipped, like Lotus buds that float On those cool waters where we used to dwell, I would have rather felt you round my throat, Crushing out life, than waving me farewell!

Reverie of Ormuz the Persian

Softly the feathery Palm-trees fade in the violet Distance, Faintly the lingering light touches the edge of the sea, Sadly the Music of Waves, drifts, faint as an Anthem's insistence, Heard in the aisles of a dream, over the sandhills, to me.

Now that the Lights are reversed, and the Singing changed into sighing, Now that the wings of our fierce, fugitive passion are furled, Take I unto myself, all alone in the light that is dying, Much of the sorrow that lies hid at the Heart of the World.

Sad am I, sad for your loss: for failing the charm of your presence, Even the sunshine has paled, leaving the Zenith less blue. Even the ocean lessens the light of its green opalescence, Since, to my sorrow I loved, loved and grew weary of, you.

Why was our passion so fleeting, why had the flush of your beauty Only so slender a spell, only so futile a power? Yet, even thus ever is life, save when long custom or duty Moulds into sober fruit Love's fragile and fugitive flower.

Fain would my soul have been faithful; never an alien pleasure Lured me away from the light lit in your luminous eyes, But we have altered the World as pitiful man has leisure To criticise, balance, take counsel, assuredly lies.

All through the centuries Man has gathered his flower, and fenced it, —Infinite strife to attain; infinite struggle to keep,— Holding his treasure awhile, all Fate and all forces against it, Knowing it his no more, if ever his vigilance sleep.

But we have altered the World as pitiful man has grown stronger, So that the things we love are as easily kept as won, Therefore the ancient fight can engage and detain us no longer, And all too swiftly, alas, passion is over and done.

Far too speedily now we can gather the coveted treasure, Enjoy it awhile, be satiated, begin to tire; And what shall be done henceforth with the profitless after-leisure, Who has the breath to kindle the ash of a faded fire?

Ah, if it only had lasted! After my ardent endeavour Came the delirious Joy, flooding my life like a sea, Days of delight that are burnt on the brain for ever and ever, Days and nights when you loved, before you grew weary of me.

Softly the sunset decreases dim in the violet Distance, Even as Love's own fervour has faded away from me, Leaving the weariness, the monotonous Weight of Existence,— All the farewells in the world weep in the sound of the sea.

Sunstroke

Oh, straight, white road that runs to meet, Across green fields, the blue green sea, You knew the little weary feet Of my child bride that was to be!

Her people brought her from the shore One golden day in sultry June, And I stood, waiting, at the door, Praying my eyes might see her soon.

With eager arms, wide open thrown, Now never to be satisfied! Ere I could make my love my own She closed her amber eyes and died.

Alas! alas! they took no heed How frail she was, my little one, But brought her here with cruel speed Beneath the fierce, relentless sun.

We laid her on the marriage bed The bridal flowers in her hand, A maiden from the ocean led Only, alas! to die inland.

I walk alone; the air is sweet, The white road wanders to the sea, I dream of those two little feet That grew so tired in reaching me.

Adoration

Who does not feel desire unending To solace through his daily strife, With some mysterious Mental Blending, The hungry loneliness of life?

Until, by sudden passion shaken, As terriers shake a rat at play, He finds, all blindly, he has taken The old, Hereditary way.

Yet, in the moment of communion, The very heart of passion's fire, His spirit spurns the mortal union, "Not this, not this, the Soul's desire!"

Oh You, by whom my life is riven, And reft away from my control, Take back the hours of passion given! Love me one moment from your soul.

Although I once, in ardent fashion, Implored you long to give me this; (In hopes to stem, or stifle, passion) Your hair to touch, your lips to kiss

Now that your gracious self has granted The loveliness you hold as naught, I find, alas! not that I wanted— Possession has not stifled Thought.

Desire its aim has only shifted,— Built hopes upon another plan, And I in love for you have drifted Beyond all passion known to man.

Beyond all dreams of soft caresses The solacing of any kiss,— Beyond the fragrance of your tresses (Once I had sold my soul for this!)

But now I crave no mortal union (Thanks for that sweetness in the past); I need some subtle, strange communion, Some sense that I join you, at last.

Long past the pulse and pain of passion, Long left the limits of all love,— I crave some nearer, fuller fashion, Some unknown way, beyond, above,—

Some infinitely inner fusion, As Wave with Water; Flame with Fire,— Let me dream once the dear delusion That I am You, Oh, Heart's Desire!

Your kindness lent to my caresses That beauty you so lightly prize,— The midnight of your sable tresses, The twilight of your shadowed eyes.

Ah, for that gift all thanks are given! Yet, Oh, adored, beyond control, Count all the passionate past forgiven And love me once, once, from your soul.

Three Songs of Zahir-u-Din

The tropic day's redundant charms Cool twilight soothes away, The sun slips down behind the palms And leaves the landscape grey. I want to take you in my arms And kiss your lips away!

I wake with sunshine in my eyes And find the morning blue, A night of dreams behind me lies And all were dreams of you! Ah, how I wish the while I rise, That what I dream were true.

The weary day's laborious pace, I hasten and beguile By fancies, which I backwards trace To things I loved erstwhile; The weary sweetness of your face, Your faint, illusive smile.

The silken softness of your hair Where faint bronze shadows are, Your strangely slight and youthful air, No passions seem to mar,— Oh, why, since Fate has made you fair, Must Fortune keep you far?

Thus spent, the day so long and bright Less hot and brilliant seems, Till in a final flare of light The sun withdraws his beams. Then, in the coolness of the night, I meet you in my dreams!

Second Song

How much I loved that way you had Of smiling most, when very sad, A smile which carried tender hints Of delicate tints And warbling birds, Of sun and spring, And yet, more than all other thing, Of Weariness beyond all Words!

None other ever smiled that way, None that I know,— The essence of all Gaiety lay, Of all mad mirth that men may know, In that sad smile, serene and slow, That on your lips was wont to play.

It needed many delicate lines And subtle curves and roseate tints To make that weary radiant smile; It flickered, as beneath the vines The sunshine through green shadow glints On the pale path that lies below, Flickered and flashed, and died away, But the strange thoughts it woke meanwhile Were wont to stay.

Thoughts of Strange Things you used to know In dim, dead lives, lived long ago, Some madly mirthful Merriment Whose lingering light is yet unspent,— Some unimaginable Woe,— Your strange, sad smile forgets these not, Though you, yourself, long since, forgot!

Third Song, written during Fever

To-night the clouds hang very low, They take the Hill-tops to their breast, And lay their arms about the fields. The wind that fans me lying low, Restless with great desire for rest, No cooling touch of freshness yields.

I, sleepless through the stifling heat, Watch the pale Lightning's constant glow Between the wide set open doors. I lie and long amidst the heat,— The fever that my senses know, For that cool slenderness of yours.

So delicate and cool you are! A roseleaf that has lain in snow, A snowflake tinged with sunset fire. You do not know, so young you are, How Fever fans the senses' glow To uncontrollable desire!

And fills the spaces of the night With furious and frantic thought, One would not dare to think by day. Ah, if you came to me to-night These visions would be turned to naught, These hateful dreams be held at bay!

But you are far, and Loneliness My only lover through the night; And not for any word or prayer Would you console my loneliness Or lend yourself, serene and slight, And the cool clusters of your hair.

All through the night I long for you, As shipwrecked men in tropics yearn For the fresh flow of streams and springs. My fevered fancies follow you As dying men in deserts turn Their thoughts to clear and chilly things.

Such dreams are mine, and such my thirst, Unceasing and unsatisfied, Until the night is burnt away Among these dreams and fevered thirst, And, through the open doorways, glide The white feet of the coming day.

The Regret of the Ranee in the Hall of Peacocks

This man has taken my Husband's life And laid my Brethren low, No sister indeed, were I, no wife, To pardon and let him go.

Yet why does he look so young and slim As he weak and wounded lies? How hard for me to be harsh to him With his soft, appealing eyes.

His hair is ruffled upon the stone And the slender wrists are bound, So young! and yet he has overthrown His scores on the battle ground.

Would I were only a slave to-day, To whom it were right and meet To wash the stains of the War away, The dust from the weary feet.

Were I but one of my serving girls To solace his pain to rest! Shake out the sand from the soft loose curls, And hold him against my breast!

Have we such beauty around our Throne? Such lithe and delicate strength? Would God that I were the senseless stone To support his slender length!

I hate those wounds that trouble my sight, Unknown! how I wish you lay, Alone in my silken tent to-night While I charmed the pain away.

I would lay you down on the Royal bed, I would bathe your wounds with wine, And setting your feet against my head Dream you were lover of mine.

My Crown is heavy upon my hair, The Jewels weigh on my breast, All I would leave, with delight, to share Your pale and passionate rest!

But hands grow restless about their swords, Lips murmur below their breath, "The Queen is silent too long!" "My Lords, —Take him away to death!"