Introduction

“How then does a man, be he good or bad, big or little, make his Memoirs interesting? To say that the one thing needful is individuality, is not quite enough. To have an individuality is no sort of distinction, but to be able to make it felt in writing is not only distinction, but under favorable circumstances, immortality.”—The Same.

One who reads this book through will have as rough a mental journey as his physical nature would undergo in riding over a corduroy road in an old stage-coach. It makes no pretension to either scholarship or elegant diction.

My Family—My Mother an Angel of Beauty and Charity—My Father’s Nobleness of Character—Building Bonfires on Paradise Rocks and flying Kites from Purgatory with Uncle Sam Ward—My Brother the Lawyer, 3

My New York Life—A Penurious Aunt who fed me on Turkey—My First Fancy Ball—Spending One Thousand Dollars for a Costume—The Schermerhorns give a ball in Great Jones Street—Sticking a Man’s Calf and Drawing Blood—A Craze for Dancing—I Study Law—Blackstone has a Rival in lovely Southern Maidens—I go to San Francisco in ’50—Fees Paid in Gold Dust—Eggs at $2—My First Housekeeping—A faux pas at a Reception, 13

Introduction to London Sports—A Dog Fight in the Suburbs—Sporting Ladies—The Drawing of the Badger—My Host gets Gloriously Drunk—Visit to Her Majesty’s Kitchen—Dinner with the Chef of Windsor Castle—I taste Montilla Sherry for the First Time—“A Shilling to pay for the Times,” 31

A Winter in Florence and Rome—Cheap Living and Good Cooking—Walnut-fed Turkeys—The Grand Duke of Tuscany’s Ball—An American Girl who Elbowed the King—What a Ball Supper should be—Ball to the Archduke of Tuscany—“The Duke of Pennsylvania”—Following the Hounds on the Campagna—The American Minister Snubs American Gentlemen, 41

Summer in Baden-Baden—The Late Emperor William no Judge of Wine—My Irish Doctor—His Horror of Water—How an American Girl tried to Captivate Him—The Louisiana Judge—I win the Toss and get the Mule—The Judge “fixes” his Pony—The “Pike Ballet,” 55

Winter in Pau—I hire a perfect Villa for $800 a year—Luxury at Small Cost—I Learn how to give Dinners—Fraternizing with the Bordeaux Wine Merchants—The Judge’s Wild Scheme—I get him up a Dinner—General Bosquet—The Pau Hunt—The Frenchmen wear beautiful Pink Coats, but their Horses wont Jump—Only the General took the Ditch, 65

My Return to New York—Dinner to a well-known Millionaire—Visit of Lord Frederick Cavendish, Hon. E. Ashley, and G. W. des Voeux to the United States—I Entertain them at my Southern Home—My Father’s Old Friends resent my Manner of Entertaining—Her Majesty’s Consul disgruntled—Cedar Wash-tubs and Hot Sheets for my English Guests—Shooting Snipe over the Rice Lands—Scouring the Country for Pretty Girls, 77

A Southern Deer Park—A Don Quixote Steed—We Hunt for Deer and Bag a Turkey—Getting a Dinner by Force—The French Chef and the Colored Cook Contrasted—One is Inspired, the Other follows Tradition—Making a Sauce of Herbs and Cream—Shooting Ducks across the Moon—A Dawfuskie Pic-nic, 89

I Leave the South—A Typical British Naval Officer—An Officer of the Household Troops—Early Newport Life—A Country Dinner—The Way I got up Pic-nics—Farmers throw their Houses Open to Us—A Bride receives us in her Bridal Array—My Newport Farm—My Southdowns and my Turkeys—What an English Lady said of our Little Island—Newport a place to take Social Root in, 107

Society’s Leaders—A Lady whose Dinners were Exquisite and whose Wines were Perfect—Her “Blue Room Parties”—Two Colonial Beauties—The Introduction of the Chef—The Prince of Wales in New York—The Ball in his Honor at the Academy of Music—The Fall of the Dancing Platform—Grotesque Figures cut by the Dancers—The Prince dances Well—Admirable Supper Arrangements—A Light Tea and a Big Appetite—The Prince at West Point—I get a Snub from General Scott, 123

A Handsome, Courtly Man—A Turkey Chase—A Visit to Livingston Manor—An Ideal Life—On Horseback from Staatsburg to New York—Village Inn Dinners—I entertain a Fashionable Party at the Gibbons Mansion—An Old House Rejuvenated—The Success of the Party—Country Life may be enjoyed here as well as in England if one has the Money and the Inclination for it—It means Hard Work for the Host, though, 139

John Van Buren’s Dinner—I spend the Entire Day in getting my Dress-coat—Lord Harrington criticises American Expressions—Contrast in our way of Living in 1862 and 1890—In Social Union is Social Strength—We band together for our Common Good—The organization of the “Cotillion Dinners”—the “Smart” Set, and the “Solid” Set—A Defense of Fashion, 155

Cost of Cotillion Dinners—My delicate Position—The Début of a Beautiful Blonde—Lord Roseberry’s mot—We have better Madeira than England—I am dubbed “The Autocrat of Drawing-rooms”—A Grand Domino Ball—Cruel Tricks of a fair Mask—An English Lady’s Maid takes a Bath—The first Cotillion Dinners given at Newport—Out-of-Door Feasting—Dancing in the Barn, 165

The first private Balls at Delmonico’s—A Nightingale who drove Four-in-hand—Private Theatricals in a Stable—A Yachting Excursion without wind and a Clam-bake under difficulties—A Poet describes the Fiasco—Plates for foot-stools and parboiled Champagne for the thirsty—The Silver, Gold, and Diamond Dinners—Giving Presents to guests, 181

The Four-in-hand Craze—Postilions and Outriders follow—A Trotting-horse Courtship—Cost of Newport Picnics Then and Now—Driving off a Bridge—An Accident that might have been Serious—A Dance at a Tea-house—The Coachmen make a Raid on the Champagne—They are all Intoxicated and Confusion reigns—A Dangerous Drive Home, 191

Grand Banquet to a Bride elect—She sat in a bank of Roses with Fountains playing around her—An Anecdote of Almack’s—The way the Duke of Wellington introduced my Father and Dominick Lynch to the Swells—I determine to have an American Almack’s—The way the “Patriarchs’” was founded—The One-man Power Abolished—Success of the Organization, 207

A Lady who has led Society for many years—A Grand Dame indeed—The Patriarchs a great social Feature—Organizing the F. C. D. C.—Their Rise and Fall—The Mother Goose Ball—My Encounters with socially ambitious Workers—I try to Please all—The Famous “Swan Dinner”—It cost $10,000—A Lake on the Dinner-table—The Swans have a mortal Combat, 221

How to introduce a young Girl into Society—I make the Daughter of a Relative a reigning Belle—First Offers of Marriage generally the Best—Wives should flirt with their Husbands—How to be fashionable—“Nobs” and “Swells”—The Prince of Wales’s Aphorism—The value of a pleasant Manner—How a Gentleman should dress—I might have made a Fortune—Commodore Vanderbilt gives me a straight “Tip,” 239

Success in Entertaining—The Art of Dinner-giving—Selection of Guests—A happy Mixture of Young Women and Dowagers—The latter more appreciative of the Good Things—Interviewing the Chef—“Uncle Sam” Ward’s Plan—Mock Turtle Soup a Delusion and a Snare—The Two Styles of cooking Terrapin—Grasshopper-fed Turkeys—Sourbet should not be flavored with Rum—Nesselrode the best of all the Ices, 255

Madeira the King of Wines—It took its Name from the Ship it came in—Daniel Webster and “Butler 16”—How Philadelphians “fine” their Wines—A Southern Wine Party—An Expert’s shrewd Guess—The Newton Gordons—Prejudice against Malmsey—Madeira should be kept in the Garret—Some famous Brands, 267

Brût Champagne—Another Revolution in treatment of this Wine—It must be Old to be Good—’74 Champagne worth $8 a bottle in Paris—How to frappé Champagne—The best Clarets—Even your Vin Ordinaire should be Decanted—Sherries—Spaniards drink them from the Wood—I prefer this way—The “famous Forsyth Sherry”—A Wine-cellar not a Necessity, 279

Assigning Guests at Dinner—The Boston fashion dying out—The approved Manner—Going in to Dinner—Time to be spent at table—Table Decoration—Too many Flowers in bad taste—Simplicity the best style—Queen Victoria’s table—Her Dinner served at 8.15, but she eats her best meal at 2 P.M.—Being late at Dinner a breach of good Manners—A Dinner acceptance a sacred Obligation—A Visite de digestion, 291

Some practical Questions answered—Difference between Men and Women Cooks—Swedish Women the cleanest and most economical—My Bills with a Chef—My Bills with a Woman Cook—Hints on Marketing—I have done my own Buying for forty years—Mme. Rothschild personally supervises her famous Dinners—Menu of an old-fashioned Southern Dinner—Success of an Impromptu Banquet, 305

The “Banner Ball”—How to prepare a Ball-room Floor—A curious Costume and a sharp Answer—The Turkish Ball—Indisposition of ladies to dance at a Public Ball—The Yorktown Centennial Ball—Committees are Ungrateful—My Experience in this Matter—I discover Mr. Blaine and introduce Myself, 323

A Famous Newport Ball—Exquisite effect produced by blocks of Ice and Electric Lights—The Japanese room—Corners for “Flirtation couples”—A superb Supper—Secretary Frelinghuysen in the Barber-shop—I meet Attorney-General Brewster—A Remarkable Man—I entertain him at Newport—A young Admirer gives him a Banquet in New York—Transformation of the Banquet-hall into a Ball-room, 335

New Era in New York Society—Extravagance of Living—Grand Fancy Dress Ball in Fifth Avenue—I go as the Lover of Margaret de Valois—A great Journalist at Newport—A British Officer rides into a Club House—The great Journalist’s masked Ball—A mysterious Blue Domino—Breakfast at Southwick’s Grove to the Duke of Beaufort—Picnic given President Arthur—His hearty Enjoyment of it—Governor Morgan misjudges my “Open Air Lunches”—The Pleasure of Country Frolics, 349

I visit Washington as the guest of Attorney-General Brewster—A Dinner at the White House—Amusing arrangement of Guests—The Winthrop Statue—The memorable Winters of 1884-85—A Millionaire’s House-warming—A London Ball in New York—A Modern Amy Robsart—Transforming Delmonico’s entire place into a Ball-room—The New Year’s Ball at the Metropolitan Opera House—Last Words, 367