Interpersonal communication · Interpersonal relations · Social interaction
The Relationship Cure by John Gottman and Joan DeClaire — Summary, Key Ideas & Quotes
2001328 pages✦ 3-min Big ideas★ 4.0 (1)
Rate it
What is The Relationship Cure about?
From the country's foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life -- with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman: Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls "emotional connection"; Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional "bid," the fundamental unit of emotional connection; Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others' bids. - Publisher.
A glimpse inside
The Power of Emotional Bids
A central concept of the book is the 'emotional bid'—any attempt to connect emotionally, whether through words, gestures, or expressions. Recognizing and responding to these bids is crucial because they are the building blocks of trust and intimacy. The book emphasizes that relationships thrive or wither based on how consistently people notice and respond to each other's bids, making this skill foundational to healthy connections.
Turning Toward, Not Away
Gottman’s research shows that the way we respond to bids—by turning toward, away, or against—determines the strength of our relationships. Turning toward means acknowledging and engaging with a bid, however small. Over time, these moments accumulate, creating a bank of goodwill and emotional safety. Conversely, ignoring or dismissing bids erodes trust and connection.
Ratings at a glance
Open Library
★ 4.0 / 5
1 ratings
✦
Get smart in 3 min
6 key ideas, distilled
- 1The Power of Emotional Bids
- 2Turning Toward, Not Away
- 3Five-Step Program for Connection
- 4Emotional Communication as a Skill
- 5Universal Application Beyond Romance
Popular quotes from The Relationship Cure
“The success or failure of a relationship hinges on how we respond to each other's bids for emotional connection.”
“Small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of relationships.”
Frequently asked
From the country's foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life -- with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman: Reveals the key element